BEING PROPOSITIONED

On Tuesday, be sure to vote early and vote often for your favorite propositions. Like these show-biz propositions that would . . .

Prohibit additional “Return to ...” TV movies in the manner of “Return to Mayberry” and “Return to Gilligan’s Island.” This would specifically ban “Return to Mr. Ed,” “Return to C.P.O. Sharkey” and, most especially, “Return to the Tomorrow Show with Tom Snyder.”

Establish a size minimum for screening rooms at multiplex theaters. This would require individual screening rooms to be at least as large as the theater’s restrooms.

Limit politicians to three “big lies” per TV commercial. Candidates could falsely label an opponent as a toxic dumper, pornographer and catalyst for terrorism, but would have to save a false allegation of sympathy for convicted murderers for a later commercial.