Arch an Eyebrow

There we were at the Cinerama Dome in Hollywood, along with radio, television and sports stars and a large crowd of onlookers, to pay tribute to a new bacon-cheeseburger before the rest of the world got a chance to pay.

It was the unveiling of McDonald’s “adult” fast-food burger, the Arch Deluxe, and we were not alone in the hype machine; at New York’s Radio City Music Hall and the Sky Dome in Toronto, similar crowds gathered.

The scene was festive. People spoke thoughtfully about formative McDonald’s experiences, and the name of “Today” weatherman Willard Scott, the first Ronald McDonald, was heard often.

After seeing giant-screen versions of Ronald McDonald shaking his extra large booties in a disco, rounding out a foursome at the golf course and running the table in a pool hall, we sensed something big was coming. New York got a live show by the Rockettes (simulcast to us on the West Coast), but here in Hollywood we got an up-close look at something very big: a seven-story model of the Arch Deluxe--really, the Cinerama Dome in drag, complete with grown-up onion slivers.

Andrew Selvaggio, executive chef at McDonald’s--yes, there is such a position--described the conception of the new product from New York in a live broadcast.

“For almost two years we tested dozens of different leafy greens, and we realized that nothing was as good as iceberg lettuce. We tried all sorts of cheeses, but nothing worked as well as good old American cheese. And nothing beats a slice of ripe red tomato.”

If this sounds like just about every other burger in town, you’re not alone. But Selvaggio defends the burger. “You don’t just put lettuce and tomato on a hamburger and call it something new; that’s not the McDonald’s way.” Perhaps you have to slice the onions differently, put in a little Dijon mustard and spend millions on marketing for it to be something new.