DONTGO BABIDOL

Each word is taken from the vanity plate master list issued by the DMV.

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DEARRR SN 4NANDO VALLI:

WTDOUMN UWANNNA DIVORSE? 2TSI, IM

SPCHLZ. YWHAT4? YNOW? TOGEDDA,

WERHAPN. DNTGVUP ONME SWTYPI.

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YEHIKNW IVE NGLCTED YUNOWNAGN. MEACLPA.

IMSORY. IMEANIT. BUT EVERR SINZZ

THA OLMPIX ITZBNRL NUTZZ ROUN HERE.

FYRES. FLOODS. THOS SNS8TNLTRIALS.

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BUTHONY, ALLDATT NSANITI, ITZOVER.

UND LISSN, WASNTI THERE4U AFTER THE

QUAKES? IPROMIS IMHERE 4U NOW.

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DIDI 4GET2 TELYA IMPROUD OF YOU?

IAMVERY. IREMBER UBABE WHEN WEMETT.

QUUT, BUTTE RUSTIQE. LUKATU 2DAY.

WITH MANYA KOLLEGE, UN4G8BL DINING

VENUES, AIRPRTS, PHYLM STUDIOS, DAMS.

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NE1 WHOSEZZ DVALLEY HAZ NUTNBUT

BIGG SHOPNG MALLZ CANTSEE! UGOTZ

PLNTYOF LTL SHOPN MALLS TOO!

OOOOPS. SO ITEAZEU ABIT. 4GIVME,

BUTIFAL, IAMM LIKEDAT.

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OHDRLNG THERIZ 2MUCHH THAT

TYESUS2GTHR. FREEWAZ, THENEW SUBWAYY,

HISTORI. LETS WKITOUT, DOLFAIS.

CAUSE IF WEDO NOT, I1TITOL. IMEANN

EVERYTNG SOUTH UV VENTURA BLVD.

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BYDAWAY, UNO MYY ATTY, DRAKULA?

DOWNBOY, DWN!

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BSTWSHS, ELLAYE

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* For PL8SPK translation, please see Page 42.

(BEGIN TEXT OF INFOBOX / INFOGRAPHIC)

Platespeak thranslation

Dear San Fernando Valley: What do you mean you want a divorce? Tootsie, I’m speechless. Why? What for? Why now? Together we’re happening. Don’t give up on me, Sweetie Pie. Yeah, I know I’ve neglected you now and again. Mea culpa. I’m sorry. I mean it. But ever since The Olympics, it’s been real nuts around here. Fires. Floods. Those sensational trials. But honey, all that insanity is over. And listen, wasn’t I there for you after the quakes? I promise I’m here for you now. Did I forget to tell you I’m proud of you? I am, very. I remember you babe when we met. Cute but rustic. Look at you today. With many a college, unforgettable dining venues, airports, film studios, dams. Anyone who says The Valley has nothing but big shopping malls can’t see! You’ve got plenty of little shopping malls too! Oops. So I tease you a bit. Forgive me, beautiful, I am like that. Oh darling, there is too much that ties us together. Freeways, the new subway, history. Let’s work it out, doll face. Because if we do not, I want it all. I mean everything south of Ventura Boulevard. By the way, you know my attorney, Dracula? Down boy, down! Best wishes, L.A.