LAUGH LINES
- Share via
Ready, Aim, Fire: Jimmy Carter and the former prime minister of Russia have written op-ed pieces about the NATO campaign in Yugoslavia. “And today Dan Quayle wrote a very strongly worded ‘Ziggy.’ ” (Jay Leno)
More Hostilities: Yugoslavia offered a peace plan last week. “But it’s not likely to be adopted. If there’s one thing we’ve learned in six years, it’s that as long as Bill Clinton is president, there’ll never be a peaceful moment.” (Argus Hamilton)
*
The Essential David Letterman
Signs that a guest at your Memorial Day barbecue is a spy:
9. Keeps whispering into the potato salad.
7. Seems oddly knowledgeable about who wants a burger and who wants a hot dog.
6. Kid who beat him in a sack race sent to Siberian prison.
5. Asks if the Hibachi has a gyroscopic laser guidance system.
4. Wears an apron that reads, “Kiss the Spy.”
2. After a couple of drinks he starts telling you nuclear launch codes.
1. He seems awfully interested in the Titan missiles you keep in the shed.
Got a joke? Send it to Laugh Lines by fax, (213) 237-0732, or mail, Southern California Living, Los Angeles Times, Times Mirror Square, Los Angeles, CA 90053.
Sign up for Essential California
The most important California stories and recommendations in your inbox every morning.
You may occasionally receive promotional content from the Los Angeles Times.
