LAUGH LINES

On the Campaign Trail: Al Gore spent a day campaigning in New Hampshire. “Today, residents there say they still feel a bit groggy.” (Conan O’Brien)

On the Campaign Trail II: A CNN poll says Hillary Clinton would defeat New York Mayor Rudy Giuliani in a hypothetical matchup for the Senate. “She always does well in hypothetical matchups. Her marriage to Bill got her to the White House.” (Argus Hamilton)

Same Old, Same Old: Washington, D.C., is experiencing a drought that began in April. “Lawns, trees, everything’s dehydrated. They say the whole town’s starting to look like Strom Thurmond now.” (Jay Leno)

Oooo, Scary Kids: Horror meister Stephen King faces a year of rehabilitation after being hit by a van. “Can’t you see him now? ‘Hmmm, laid up in bed with a broken leg. That’d be the start of a good story. Oh wait, did that. How about an evil vehicle that hunts people down? Darn, did that too. Maybe something about the dog? Dang!’ ” (Daily Scoop)

On the Rebound: People magazine says NBC is planning to pay former “ER” star George Clooney $2 million an episode to make several guest appearances next season. “You know, kind of like the same arrangement the L.A. Lakers had with Dennis Rodman.” (Andrew Wisot)

Got a joke? Send it to Laugh Lines by fax, (213) 237-0732, or mail, SoCal Living, L.A. Times, Times Mirror Square, L.A. 90053.