A sharp increase in relative stupidity

Noting the consecutive NASCAR races won by Kurt and Kyle Busch, the satirical website theonion.com took a look at other brother tandems in sports. A sampling:

“The Boones: Second baseman Bret and third baseman Aaron made major league history by becoming the first set of brothers to get their tips frosted at the same time.”

“The Johnsons: Though they have yet to realize it, pitcher Randy Johnson and running back Larry Johnson remain one of the most talented brother tandems in sports.”

“The Sharpes: Shannon and Sterling made a name for themselves in the NFL as the brother tandem whom everyone most wished would shut up.”

“The Ripkens: Billy Ripken holds the record for most consecutive games watching his brother while grinding his teeth with jealousy.”

Trivia time

Which duo holds the major league record for home runs by two brothers?

True blue predictions

He is hardly alone, but let the record show that President Obama was 1-3 in his Final Four predictions, guessing wrong on Louisville, Memphis and Pittsburgh but avoiding a sweep with North Carolina. Noting those selections, comedy writer Alex Kaseberg quipped, “I’ll take three cities and one state that all voted Democratic for $500, Alex.”

Time flies

Those who remember Gaylord Perry as baseball’s most notorious pitcher -- he titled his autobiography “Me and the Spitter” -- will be shocked to learn the Hall of Famer is now 70.

Serving as a guest instructor at the San Francisco Giants’ spring-training camp, Perry told the San Francisco Chronicle, “They say the changeup is the toughest pitch to throw. Well, my fastball is now a changeup.”

Baseline flip-flopper

Kim Clijsters’ recent decision to end her retirement and rejoin the professional tennis tour prompted the following headline in the Spokane Spokesman-Review: “Belgian waffle.”

Trivia answer

Hank and Tommie Aaron. Hank hit 755 home runs and Tommie 13, combining for a total of 768.

And finally

From Cam Hutchinson of the Saskatoon StarPhoenix: “Anna Kournikova rang the opening bell at the New York Stock Exchange one morning [last] week. Moments later the Dow Jones index fell 6-0, 6-0.”

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