A Very Special Love of Fair

“A lot of people say that,” says Matt Ramazzina, 13 years old, owner of Billy, who now appears to be in the depths of swine-like slumber in the choice corner pen. “They say, ‘Why pigs?’ “And I say, ‘Because they’re fun.’ A lot of people, they have cats and dogs and birds and stuff, but, like, a pig , it’s out of the ordinary.”

“And you get to come to the fair every day,” says Jason Park, who is 12 years old and probably Matt’s best friend, or maybe even definitely his best friend, because he and Matt, they hang out together all the time in north Tustin and plus: Their pigs really get along.

Mille is Jason’s first, so she’s kind of a special pig and just to show me how special, Mille has been freed from the pen she and Billy share so that she may perform brilliant pig tricks.

Because I want to see this.

This is what Matt has described as a fun part of pig ownership. Matt goes for his bamboo cane. Mille, described by her owner as “more of a calm and playful pig,” trots, rather jocularly, down the alley between the pens.

Then Matt whomps her on the side of the head with the cane. And Mille turns.

That’s it. That’s the trick.

“Well, you know, she’s a pig,” says Jason.

Which is just fine with Matt and Jason. “The cows, they’re a lot of work, and especially the veal,” says Matt. “And I don’t like sheep. I think they’re dumb, but you don’t want to put that in.”

But I must, of course. I’m here for the lowdown on the Orange County Fair, so it’s stupid sheep and willy-nilly pig tricks (with Mille and Billy) and other true-life examples of what happens when the country comes to the city. Or maybe that’s the other way around. To wit:

The latest in steer hair fashions.

Jose, a 1 1/2-year-old steer, was sporting The Do. It’s a moussed-up little pouf of cow hair right between the ears. It makes Jose look like Don King, except that Jose’s mouth is shut.

“I don’t like it myself,” says Jose’s owner, Grant Aitken, a 17-year-old from Fullerton’s Sunny Hills High School. “But it’s the style.” The style for steer switches is either a gigantic hair ball, sprayed in place with Doc Brannen’s Grooming Adhesive, or the more natural-looking “bob.”

Jose has opted for the bob.

“It’s a visual thing,” Grant explains. “Some people, they like the balls because they say it makes the hind legs look bigger, but they’re messy. A lot of people are going with the bobs.”

I am now leaving the livestock area.

“Hobbies and Collectibles,” the sign over one building entrance reads. I have always wondered about people who have hobbies and collectibles.

Now I am really wondering.

A blue first-place ribbon (in the general collection/adult category) rests in front of Steve Hanson’s glass-encased “Starsky and Hutch” collection. There are Starsky dolls and Hutch dolls and paperback books, mugs, fake guns and walkie-talkies, a holster and on and on, most of it still in its original packaging.

Completely unsolicited comments of fair-goers passing Steve Hanson’s “Starsky and Hutch” collection:

“Oh my God! Look! ‘Starsky and Hutch!’ Your aunt and me were crazy about ‘Starsky and Hutch!’ “--middle-aged woman to a younger woman.

“Wow! ‘Starsky and Hutch.’ Wish I’d thought of that.”--youngish looking man to no one in particular.

Solicited comments of fair-goers passing Steve Hanson’s “Starsky and Hutch” collection:

“Seems like a good thing to collect. I used to watch it every day on Channel 5.”--Tony Ibarra, 18, of Bellflower.

“I always used to watch ‘Starsky and Hutch.’ As a matter of fact, where I come from, I think they still watch it.”--Ronald Cole, of Seal Beach, formerly of Australia.

Given the overwhelming interest of Orange County fair-goers in the “Starsky and Hutch” collection, I thought it my duty to give Steve Hanson a call in an effort to get the full story.

“Really? Everybody’s talking about it?” Steve says when I reach him at home in Santa Ana. “I went there yesterday, and I was trying to overhear comments, but I didn’t hear anything.”

So I fill Steve in--making him feel pretty good, I can tell--because he really opens up to me about “Starsky and Hutch.”

“I never watched it until it started on late-night reruns on ABC in 1979,” he says. “Then when KTLA bought the rights to it, I started taping episodes.”

And then . . .

“Once I started watching it, I really liked it,” Steve goes on. “I liked the rapport that the stars had together. It was very exciting, the way they would go careening around corners and such. And I thought, ‘I really like this!’ ”

So naturally, Steve started his collection--I mean, what would you do?--which today includes 281 pieces, including copies of scripts. His favorite part of the collection is probably the two Halloween costumes (one of Starsky and one of Hutch) that are on exhibit at the fair.

And of course, Steve will be attending the annual convention of the Starsky and Hutch Fan Club, this year in Chicago in October. Steve, who is 39, says that to the best of his knowledge, he is the only male in the 200-member club.

Then, OK, I ask something really stupid. Which one is Starsky and which one is Hutch?

Steve is momentarily taken aback. He pauses. Then he says that David Soul, the blond (and Steve’s favorite) is Hutch, and Paul Michael Glaser, the dark-haired one, is Starsky.

Now it’s coming to me; Glaser rings a bell. So because Steve has been so open with me, I confess that I have never personall y seen an episode of “Starsky and Hutch.”

“Oh, you’re really missing something,” Steve says.

And I figure he must be right. You can learn a lot by going to the Orange County Fair.